14 Oct

bipolar II (?) and mild? ocd

seeing from this blog cant ever be sure of anything


dang im 24 now it’s been 10 years

not on meds, doing my best, my life is very interesting


intp xD

17 Jun

Entp or intp or infj

So this is hilarious and slightly ironic

11 Feb

I’ve been diagnosed with ADD (or ADHD-PI, I’m assuming).

Ha ha ha.

Maybe I should just keep my old posts then.

I guess I don’t have to change my blog title.


Good going teenage self, you’re funny.

I started this blog at 16, and now I’m 20, so we can see the difference then.

I’ve bought an ADHD planner (though the binding had sort of broken, but I’m too impatient to return). It’s really nice other than that. Maybe I’ll hot glue it down.

I want to hide these old embarrassing posts but if I keep it up it’d be cool too, just cause you can see how desperate I was back then. But then ajakfhkjsgh.

What makes this even funnier is that I’d first typed myself as an ENFP. This has all been very sudden and explains nearly everything weird about me. OHHH KNEW I WAS DIFFERENT WHICH MEANS SPECIAL WHICH MEANS I’M SPECIAL what, and the obsessive psychoanalyzing myself until now – I wasn’t even wrong, except with the wondering what the hell was wrong with my motivation. It was never a motivation problem, you don’t cry yourself to sleep at night wondering why you’re not motivated enough to get through a chapter of a subject you actually like and isn’t hard to understand, you know? It’s a focusing problem. So I’m 80% less depressed now. It was an amazing feeling. BUT MY GOD FINDING HELP, JESUS, TOOK ME A MONTH. I felt every rejection and roadbump like a knife. Bad enough I had to ask for it, bblehhh.

So all is good, well is life, on we go. I might add more to this later, lots of things.

18 Sep

follow up to this. I feel like when I grab something, I’m reaching through my glasses to grab the perceived object. When they’re off, everything is blurry, but I’m grabbing the real object it as-is. With my natural eyes, without any distortion.

Easily Distracted

I don’t know why I get emotional (quietly) about my glasses and my eyes. Maybe because since I’m nearsighted, each year my prescription must be updated, and I can literally see (taking the glasses off) the world become blurrier within that week. Maybe it’s normal that your eyes so quickly rely on your glasses….less energy expended, right? Or just that it’s necessary….that your muscles weaken in order to adapt to the lens….I don’t really know…and somehow it’s an endless cycle of these muscles becoming weaker because they get used to the glasses, your vision becomes blurrier as a result, end up getting stronger glasses to correct the result, they become even weaker…..

Because my vision may have been degrading because my school never noticed until I turned 9, and my mother didn’t notice until I turned 10, but it was never this fast. It was never this fast. Every year?…

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9 Sep

Yup. I’m this.

Which also means Fi/Te, haha.


I went from INFP to INxP, to a bunch of other generic quiz crap I don’t remember, to INxP eternally, to INFP who tests INTP, to INFJ on PerC to ENxP to an ENFP who still tests INTP.

It’s been a great 10 years. No jk.

Interestingly, I have never been S.

And so, Extroverted Intuiton (Ne-Dom), Introverted Feeling (Fi-aux), Extroverted Thinking (Te-tert..), Introverted Sensing (Si-inf).


Is it extra or extro.

So I was an ENP kid who went with Fi. But it’s funny because I know what triggered the whole introverted auxilary function development. It’s great. I had a crush on a guy because he was always thinking and it was interested because he would be FIRE and then he’d stop somewhere and just lay down and think and it seemed like he could be putting on a show and I wondered what he could be thinking about. And now, Fi. I have a habit of trying to model the person I crush on or just really like and want to know, to understand them and to be more like them…because a lot of the time I admire them and I want to show them and myself that we’re similar. It’s weird.

Meanwhile, my dragon-bear sister might be ETJ with inferior Fi. I had been thinking she was ISJ but this makes much more sense. It makes sense though I think, though she doesn’t feel T or F, and she is okay with S more than N. I wonder if she’d agree more with ESP.

4 Sep

Gabriel Garbow | Artworks

Has anyone ever stopped to think how strange it is that the word “handsome” has nothing to do with hands?  The same goes for the antiquated word, “toothsome” which also, curiously, means good-looking.

What is it about modern American English that we feel the need to say “pretty” in so many different ways that we just start re-purposing random body parts like teeth and hands?

How else could this technique be applied? Could we coin even more words like . . .

  • Navelsome
  • Heelsome
  • Lashsome

. . . And what would they mean? Attractive again, or something else.

Anyhow, I’m bucking the trend in this post and using the word “Hand-some” in reference to some actual hands.  Or at least one actual hand.

This one:

There were some challenges in working on this piece.  The first had to do with the set-up.

As usual, it’s tricky to hold a pose like…

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4 Sep

This is quite inspiring actually!! I’ve gained a certain interesting new perspective as a result 😀

A Life So Luminous

My best date ever was myself.


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