AUGH I IZ A SLACKER

23 Aug

I am. I need to get committed to my homework, my grades are already suffering and some people aren’t even in school yet!
They’re suffering….That is an understatement. And they shoudn’t be, I love my classes. I’m just a lazy, undeserving, unworthy, daydreaming [self-loathing], arrogent, etc. idiot. I gotta focus! BLAH!
A Sims Legacy or story should be left to people who can actually…do that! I’m so suckish. I want to delete a bunch of stuff off of my blog and just use these posts to rant and vent about nothingness, and put the weirdest possible tags eva.
By the way: SKIP BEAT 144, 145 AUUUUGHHH!! OMIGOSH OMIGOSH OMIGOSHHHHHH…!! >< ♥♥♥
This is in quickpress thing, on my laptop, in meh room, with my homework staring at me and I’m wondering what my vocab paper wants me to do exactly (copy from book, or do what I did last year?).
I have 3 FREAKIN’ AP CLASSES, CHEMISTRY, COOKING, AND MATH.
Cooking=just telling you. I’m trying to drop math right now and take a different sort of class in the spring (not in high school….something else).
Yee.
I am not deleting my posts! No, no, no, this will be like….a notebook! I try not to rip anything out of them. You can’t rip memories out of your brain either, you know? Can’t suck ’em up with a vaccum, chop them into pieces as they scream in terror, stuff them into a paper shredder, set them on fire and laugh as their blood splatters all over your glasses, eh? No matter how evil they are or haunting, or ungrateful to you for letting them live with you? Nope.
I’m imagining my mom doing this to me right now. She comes home soon. She is angry at me for subconsciously trying to ruin my own future. I really don’t blame her, but it is annoying to be nagged. I feel sorry for her. T_T
I have comics. But I want to color them. I just realized how much I suck. At comics. I’m well-aware of my other many shortcomings.
SHIT-SHIT-SHIT!! NO MORE CENSORING MYSELF!! I’M AN INARTICULATE BASTARD AND THIS IS NO LONGER A PG/PG-13 BLOG! I’M GONNA VENT GODDAMMIT, NO MATTER HOW MUCH MY CONSCIENCE SCREAMS AT ME FOR POSTING IT ON THE INTERNET!! MUHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!
I used to send emails similar to this to my English teacher, last year. She worried about me, I think. I didn’t curse though. Mostly I said stuff like I’m melting, or pulling my eyelashes out or something.
No, I do not cut myself. Or do any drugs, or drink. I *am* quiet at school, and it takes me about 2 years, I noticed, to make friends and be comfortable around them, but it’s always up to chance.
The clock says 4PM on the laptop. It’s like 10. I changed it so I didn’t look at it and get sleepy. My room clock (haha) is facing the wall. I hate alarms. I want to smash one into debree one day. And I’d like to carry a baseball bat around, or keep one next to my bed in case a burglar crashes into my bedroom through the window.
Kyaa. Manga. Skip-Beat. ♫
Music notes are so nice, are they not? Yes? Question Mark? Is this a poem? I assure you, it’s not. British people. Train of thought. Choo-Choo. Shark Boy and Lava Girl. Cheesy movies. Innocence is overrated. No it’s not. Kids can be evil. Kids can be nice. Something else. Celine Dion – My heart will go on, in the movie titanic. NO THIS IS NOT A MOVEMENT.
Goodbye!! ^^ 🙂 (the yellow default smiley for that looks half-hearted and normal. Like, heh, yah, fake laugh/slash/grin.)
I’M GOING INSANE!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH MY MOM IS HOME!

edit: She didn’t kill me. I think she’s trying to motivate me now. She does that sometimes. First she’ll be like, “YOUR GRADES SUCK, WHAT THE HELL?!” (she doesn’t cuss…like that, I’m just putting her feelings into my words), but then later she’ll be like “Come on, your grades aren’t that bad, I know you can do it. Woot! Don’t give up!” Maybe she’s trying out different techniques.

For English, we have to do one of those college research…thingies. I’M GETTING SO DAMN SICK OF THOSE, but I like this one now. I’ve discovered something beautiful – it’s called a “HUMANITIES MAJOR.”

Wooo…. 😮

And my drawing teacher at school said I should get into one of them Illustration Major things. I had no clue what she was talking about, but I thought she meant for like, children books, or something. I made a face like, “ehh…eh?” I think. So, I know what she’s talking about now, and I’m happy she said that….People tend to carelessly throw that around, I think. “You should be a cartoonist” or something similar, but at least it came from an art teacher this time….Still….

Anyways.  The other one is Human Biology. I’m not disinterested in that one, and I could become a doctor with that. Or any major, but that one is more related and important – it makes sense anyways. And a doctor is a good job, I’d be helping people, and I could open a free clinic back in…..

hehehe….You might be thinking “do I really want this person operating on me?”

HAHAHAHHA! I was thinking the same thing, you see, me being a doctor not being….well, suited to my temperment and personality…and brain. But, I know I have a serious mode, you see, and I don’t have to be a surgeon whateva. It’s the deciding and the choices and the being involved in other people’s…mortality or that involved in fate and people and…wow. That’s what worries me. People asking me, “doc, what should I do,” [hehe..doc] or something. That’s scary.

Then there’s the whole “GET OVER IT!!” thing.

I was in the kitchen, pouring myself some Coke in a smallish cup and I let it pour for too long and it got all fizzy and was starting to foam over. So I said “AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!! AGH-AGH-AGH!!”
I have a sort of high-pitched scream thing. Like when you hear girls in animes yell “KYAAAAAAA!!”

I say Kya too actually.

And then my mom said “[my name], YOU NEED TO STOP DOING THAT!!” And I said, “What?! 😀 Do I do that a lot?” and she said “Yes!” and I said “What’s wrong?” and my sister said “It’s scary!” and I said “Oh wow, really?!” and about 2 seconds of silence after my mom looked at me, I said “It’s cause of this!” and I raised the cup of soda that almost fizzed over up and said “I was scared it was gonna fizz over” and she said “Do you need to scream for that?!” and I said “…Yes! I gotta do something!!!” It wasn’t a serious conversation, it was kinda funny, and my mom talks differently. Like sharp and sarcastic and quick. She says “Goooosh.” She has an accent, and I get comments from my friends like “your mom is so cute.” They think we look similar because we’re both smallish in frame but we don’t look that similar really, but we have some things in common. ^^ She is pretty though, and funny.

Doctors are highly respected where she/I come from too. If you’re a doctor, you’re a king.

CULTURE! ^^

If you’re an artist, blah, I think. More realist and stuff….It’s hard. My mom says I can be a doctor and a cartoonist or eh..writer or whatever. Not interested much in writing. I’m not that talented there. I’m too dweebish. I love that word. hahhaha…dweebish.

Skraa.

*backspace-backspace*

I feel crazy today. OH-MI-GOSH IT’S LATE, I GOTTA FINISH, OH NO, I HOPE I FINISH.

EDITEDIT:

Lol. The related posts. In case they change:

  • We’re all going on a summer holiday…
  • Want To Help Me Out?
  • update.
  • Colorado Sen. Michael Bennet on Education: “We’re Falling Behind the Rest of….”

My cousin who doesn’t live here said I should be a writer. I think he wants me to be one. I have a myspace I don’t go on and made a couple of crazy blogs randomally, so when I asked how he knew about how I write he mentioned my blogs and comments and stuff. That was nice. He’s a really nice guy, and is family oriented. I think I say dumb things sometimes. I hate it. He must be going through some hard stuffs. He’s 20-something. 23? Anyways, I said my mom said I could be a doctor and that, and he said something like “eh, well, yeah she’s right, you could do that.”

^^; :\

kyaa….-_-…Damn teenage angst. At least we got a label for it now. Damn angst, damn angst. Or maybe it’s just normal teen issues. But I’m not too normal I think. Definitely not. But what is normal, right? 🙂 I don’t really get it.

AGH, contradictions. And this word, dadism. Dada-ism? It makes me laugh, the word. ^^

edit: Sorry XD. This has been bugging me and I’d been planning to edit it. This blog has never been more than PG-13 if you’re considering language – the worst thing I’ve ever said is dammit. 😄

Hm. This post can be considered Meezletoe’s version of teen angsting XD. Well, not really. :$ I’ve written angstier things. Lol. Angstier. 😄

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